Thursday, April 28, 2016

Fixed it for ya

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 119: Say, Jonah, how do you feel about the death of Prince?

Panel from "Stars & Stripes Forever" in Captain America (1998 series) #50/518 (February 2002), script by Evan Dorkin, pencils and inks by Kevin Maguire, colors by Avalon Studios, letters by Todd Klein

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Who's that girl, who's that girl? It's Jess!

Welcome to another exciting installment of Who's That Girl? It's Jess! (I'm determined to get this feature in at least once every three years.) It's the fun-filled, spider-flavored focus that spotlights the romantic life and dating mishaps of our very own seventies diva Miss Jessica Drew! (I bet she looks good on the dance floor.) So let's join her on another typical romantic date with...I dunno, some guy, s'posed to be good for you.

Panels from Spider-Woman #8 (November 1978), script by Marv Wolfman, pencils by Carmine Infantino, inks by Al Gordon, colors by Francoise Mouly, letters by John Costanza

Judging from the way Jerry — oh, that's his name! — meanders in his "let's make out" speech, you would be mistaken in guessing this is one of the issues of Spider-Woman written by Chris Claremont. But it's Marv Wolfman! Instead, just picture these words are spoken by Terry Long. And we can at last see what relation Spider-Woman has to the original-recipe Spider-Man: it's not her powers or her mask or even her name; it's her inability to get through a date without having to duck out to fight or save somebody! Next time, Jess, date somebody whose hair isn't going grey, and who buys you cotton candy that isn't half-melted already!

Turns out the guy she saves from killing himself is from the Bicentennial. Geez, Marvel, it was two years ago, give it a rest, already! You've already proven that your Bicentennial Super Special Treasury was better than DC's. Also: way to suddenly try to date an even older guy, Jess.

Bicentennial Boy Samuel Davis is cursed by a witch (hey, why didn't they burn her?) to live forever. Holy Hob Gadling, Batman! Or, that is, live forever until he finds someone so in love with him she'll be willing to die with him. (Typical cisminded 18th century witch, assuming that Sam Davis is heterosexual, huh?) So, of course, Spider-Woman will be perfect to die along with him. HEY WAIT WHAT

Then suddenly, the greatest date interruption of them all: bear attack!

WAIT where was this amusement park or fun fair that is so close to bears, huh? That's mighty poor planning on behalf of the park operators. "Should we build it by the wild bear habitats?" "Eh, couldn't hurt."

As the signs say, bear left. Then Jessica Drew agrees to die along with Revolutionary War Dude and pushes him off a cliff. Then, she flies off, leaving him to be impaled on the conveniently sharp rocks below (seriously, where is this amusement park? Barsoom?). Nice brush-off, Jess. You coulda just given him a fake phone number. This guy will never ask her for a date or a death-pact again!


366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 117: This is not the way I predicted print would die

Panels from Galactus the Devourer #3 (November 1999), script by Louise Simonson, pencils by John Buscema, inks by Bill Sienkiewicz, colors by Christie Scheele, letters by Richard Starking

Monday, April 25, 2016

Beefcake Wolverine and his new young female sidekick

Panels from Wolverine (1988 series) #17 (Late November 1989), script by Archie Goodwin, layouts by John Byrne, finishes by Klaus Janson, colors by Glynis Oliver, letters by Jim Novak,
and from Angel Love #1 (August 1986); script and pencils by Barbara Slate, inks by John William Lopez, colors by Bob LeRose, letters by Bill Yoshida

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 116: Betty Brant 2.0 just isn't working out

Panels from Amazing Spider-Man (1963 series) #159 (August 1976), script by Len Wein, breakdowns by Ross Andru, figure finishes by Mike Esposito, background finishes by Dave Hunt, letters by Joe Rosen

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Ten of a Kind: I'm here and you guys suck

(More Ten of a Kind here.)


Today in Comics History: How can we miss you, Spirit, if you won't go away?

What must be obviously the early edition of The Spirit's hometown newspaper, The Central City Gazette, on the morning of April 24, 1949:

Splash page from Will Eisner's The Spirit (Dynamite 2015 series) #1 (July 2015), script by Matt Wagner, pencils and inks by Dan Schkade, colors by Brennan Wagner, letters by A Larger World Studios

Followed by, I guess, a later edition on the same day?

Panel from Will Eisner's The Spirit #6 (December 2015), script by Matt Wagner, pencils and inks by Dan Schkade, colors by Brennan Wagner, letters by A Larger World Studios

Will Eisner's The Spirit: made of 100% boomerang.

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 115: When you say "big hair" in the Marvel Universe, I usually don't think "Johnny Storm"

Panels from "A Day at the Races!" in Fantastic Four #543 (April 2007), script, pencils, and inks by Paul Pope; colors by José Villarrubia, letter by Rus Wooton

Incidentally, judging from the context, I think that Rus Wooton made a minor lettering typo in the last word balloon, so I took the liberty to correct it in Photoshop above. Here's what it actually looked like. Whoops!

Seconcidentally, does Johnny Storm really have big hair? Well, sorta.

Whatdaya have to say to that, Peter Parker?

Man, everybody's kinda hung up on Johnny Storm's hair in this comic.

Saturday, April 23, 2016

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 114: Two brave super-heroes died to bring us today's post

What? There's more of Merry Marie Severin Week? Why, yes!

We've seen through the past few days how The Mellifluous One has caricatured The Jolly One in The Four-Color One (Not Brand Echh, that is). But how does she portray J. Jonah Jameson straight — that is, in an ordinary, non-Earth-665 way? Like say, the Earth-616 JJJ? Well, wonder no more, oh woeful wonderer!

Panels from Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #48 (November 1980), script by Roger Stern, pencils by Marie Severin, inks by Bruce Patterson, colors by Ben Sean, letters by Rick Parker

Plus, bonus Peter Parker Beefcake panels! Who says this isn't the Bountiful Bully Age of Giving the People What They Want?

And Marie's Peter Parker looks light he fits right into the John Romita Sr. Universe.

Which isn't a world away from the way she portrayed him in the parodic peripheries of Not Brand Echh:

Panels from "The Wedding of Spidey-Man, Or...With This Ring, I Thee Web" in Not Brand Echh #6 (February 1968), script by Gary Friedrich, pencils and inks (and colors?) by Marie Severin, letters by Al Kurzrok

Say, whodaya think Porter Pancakes was getting married to?

And of course, it all ended in tears:

Still, coulda been worse, depending on who you got married to, Spidey.

Panel from What If? (1977 series) #34 (August 1982), script by Mike Carlin, pencils by Ron Zalme, inks by Brett Breeding

Friday, April 22, 2016

Today in Comics History: River Song makes Steven Moffat's plot even more impenetrable

Panel from Doctor Who Event 2015: The Four Doctors #3 (September 2015), script by Paul Cornell, pencils and inks by Neil Edwards, colors by Ivan Nunes, letters by Robbie Robbins

366 Days with J. Jonah Jameson, Day 113: The real reason Martin and Lewis split up

Majestic Marie Severin week continues apace, with this, the weirdest of all the Marvel/DC crossovers!

Panels from "Fame Is a Cross-Eyed Blind Date With B-a-a-a-d Breath" in Not Brand Echh #11 (December 1968), script by Arnold Drake, pencils (and colors?) by Marie Severin, inks by John Tartaglione, letters by Joe Rosen

Actually, that bottom page is a mildly edited correction panel printed in NBE #13, with Marvel apologizing that it had fouled up the original attempt at printing a photograph of Spider-Man (it was too dark and reproduced as a muddy black blob). Yep, that's Rascally Roy Thomas in those far-famed togs — but I suppose you read that bit already.